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We all have regrets. We have all done things that we wish we had not or, we wish had done differently. Every human being no matter who they are is subject to mistakes and, we all make them daily.

Most of us feel guilty about the mistakes we make but, we don’t have to go on feeling badly about anything. In fact, the only point in which regret is beneficial is in the instant that we realize that something bad has happened. In that moment you experience the only benefit you will ever recieve from the emotion - You realize that you wish things had been different and you are motivated to avoid the same mistake in the future. Any feelings of guilt or regret beyond this initial realization is nothing more than self sabotage.

Why then do we as humans tend to dwell in regret?  There are three main reasons for this.  First we tend to think that if we can relive and analize something enough we can somehow fix the past.  Second we tend to think that by feeling badly we are paying a dept.  Third we tend to tell ourselves that, “If I feel badly about something I’ve done then I must really be good person”.

When we put these reasons for regret through the test of logic, none of them stand up.  We can never change the past regardless of how much we may want to.  Torchuring ourselves by reliving an unpleasant memory only serves to lock us into the negative emotion thus, hindering us from taking the steps that would move our lives in a positive direction.  If we are going to pay a dept then it stands to reason that the person we owe should benefit from our “payment”. However, the person who we feel we have wronged recieves absolutely no benefit from self sabotaging regret.  If you really feel you need to pay a dept then do so in a manner that benefits the reciever.  

Attempting to fool ourselves into believing we are really “good people” is a waste because if you are a good person or not is not contengent on one mistake.  Also, our attempts to fool ourselves backfire.  We may be able to accept these kinds of thoughts at a conscious level but our sub-conscious screams “LIER!”  Therefore, we feel like impostures in our own bodies.  Who can we trust if we can’t even trust ourself?

The good news is that once we understand the insidious excuses and effects of regret, we can then understand that it is unrealistic to hold on to the regret.  And, once we understand that we can let the regret go we can then start working on the “How to let it go”! 

The way to let go of regret is to understand that “YOU ARE NO LONGER THAT PERSON”!  We are constantly changing.  We are never exactly the same one minute to the next.  We are learning and growing all the time.  You are no longer the two year old child that you were when you spilled that milk on your sister.  The time distance between the current moment and when you were two years old may seem obvious but, we tend to forget that we change from moment to moment - Just like we change through the years.

It is okay to forgive the you who made that mistake and to take comfort in knowing that you are no longer the person who made that mistake.  You have already evolved into a new and better being!  Isn’t the way evolution works great?!!!