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We have all tried at one time or another to be someone we are not. We’ve all tried to do something we were not meant to do.  Usually we do this to impress others and/or to fit into a group.

The fact is we cannot be what we are not.  We can only be who we are.  We are each born with unique personalities, talents and desires.  If we want to live the best life possible for us, the only way for us to do that is to take our own path.

This doesn’t mean we sit around and let life pass us by.  Our lives are still what we make it.  The point I’m making is we can’t be a carbon copy of someone else, nor can we live our lives to please others.  If we try we only become a miserable excuse of an extension, of the person we are trying to please.

If you were meant to be someone else, you would have been born someone else.   You were born you and that is exactly who you are meant to be.

I was having this discussion with a woman I know.  Just when I thought she understood she looked up at me with tears in her eyes and said “But, I don’t know who that is!  I don’t know who I am.”  Wow!  What a profound realization to face. 

This realization was undoubtedly a painful pill to swallow.  Yet, it was the turning point in her life.  Today that same woman is a top executive in the fashion industry.  She has married a wonderful man and together they have four children.  She is now living her dreams! She no longer wonders who she is, instead she lives her life everyday to the fullest.

If you are in a similar boat I suggest these steps.
 
1-  Think about what you enjoy the most.  What are you happiest doing?  What makes you laugh?  What feels good.  Then do those things as much as you can.

2-  Experiment.  Try new things that you have never tried before.  Be a guest at a club or association.  Try new foods.  Visit a museum or fair.  Sign up for karate or yoga.  Go to a park, fly a kite, swim, or climb a mountain. 

Just live a little bit, and have fun doing it.

3- Choose Your Self- Here is an article I wrote about how to do this.

4-  Socialize-  We are social creatures.  We are not meant to be alone all the time.  If you are shy here are a couple of great resources to help you.

Susan RoAnn- The author of “How to work a room” which I believe is a must read for everyone, also has a blog where she give tips on occassion. 

Shyness Secrets - Sarita Hartin has written many articles “designed to help people who struggle with shyness”.

5-  Take a step everyday to improve yourself.  Rome wasn’t concurred in a day, life doesn’t change overnight.

6-  Print a copy of this poem by the late Douglas Malloch.  Then read it often:

If you can’t be a pine on the top of the hill,

   Be a scrub in the valley—but be

The best little scrub by the side of the rill;

   be a bush, if you can’t be a tree.

If you can’t be a bush, be a bit of the grass,

   And some highway happier make;

If you can’t be a muskie, then just be a bass—

   But the liveliest bass in the lake!

We can’t all be captains, we’ve go to be crew,

   There’s something for all of us here.

There’s big work to do and there’s lesser to do

   And the task we must do is the near.

If you can’t be a highway, then just be a trail,

   If you can’t be the sun, be a star;

It isn’t by size that you win or you fail—

   Be the best of whatever you are!