The Approval Of Others
Teenagers are notorious for doing stupid thing because they want the approval of their peers. We would like to think that after the parent gives the infamous “If your friend jumped off a bridge would you?” speech, the teenager would be cured forever. Unfortunately the effects of peer pressure do not stop there. In fact, most adults still suffer from the effects of peer pressure.
Peer pressure is not always bad; in fact without it humans could not survive. A human child depends on the example of others, to teach them the skills necessary for survival. We all want people to like us. This is a biologically predetermined fact. Humans are social animals.
The problem with peer pressure comes in when we forget that we have the ability to make our own decisions. When we start to think that what others think about us is more important than what we think of ourselves. When our morals, our principles, and the laws we have set for our own lives are broken in an attempt to gain acceptance from others.
There is no faster way to destroy your self confidence than by giving in to negative peer pressure. Breaking our own rules for our lives causes intense emotional stress. It makes us feel weak, inferior, and unworthy of a better life. Peer pressure traps us into the status quo, and doesn’t allow us to rise above “average”.
How then, can we overcome peer pressure? I’m glad you asked.
1- Principles/Morals- Be sure that you know what your morals are. Write them down in a journal you can refer to often. These morals should be the basis from which you make every decision. They should be your foundation the “who” of who you are. Some examples of strong morals are be honest always, show integrity, respect your elders, be a hard worker, rise early, or do not use drugs.
2- Work For Respect- You should be working to get peoples respect, rather than trying to make them like you. If you are trying to make them like you, you are trying too hard to gain approval.
The funny thing is people sense when you are trying too hard and will not like you because of it. When you work for respect rather than trying to make others “like” you, they will usually like you because they respect you.
3- Focus On Your Goals- When you focus on your goals peer pressure looses it’s strength. You can see what you want. If what they want is not going to take you to your goal, why do it?
4- Know The Friends Have Your Best Interest at Heart- If they don’t you don’t need them. A good friend will not pressure you to do what you know is wrong. They will not make you feel like you have to constantly work to please them. A good friend will be fun and inspiring they will push you to be your best, not the other way around.
5- Create A Support System- It is easier to say no to those that want to push us off track, if we have enough people who will support us in our venture to succeed. This is where most people fail.
It hurts when we feel alone, isolated, and unliked. When we feel this we will do almost anything to make ourselves more comfortable. That is why it is critically important for those of us who want to succeed to form alliances with others on the path to success. The more support you have, the easier it is to say no.
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July 3rd, 2007 @ 12:09 pm
Priscilla, I especially like #1! Know your morals. I work with a lot of teens, and the ones who have a well-defined moral compass are generally the successful ones. Of course, this extends beyond the teen years, too. Interesting blog! I’ll be back.
July 4th, 2007 @ 11:33 am
Thank you, Lee. I’ll be looking forward to hearing from you again.
July 5th, 2007 @ 5:06 am
Give the kids a good education and they will be taken care of for life. Education is not just academic know-how from schools, but more importantly, morals and ethics that will keep them on the right path.
July 5th, 2007 @ 12:17 pm
Thanks for the comment Vivienne. This is one of the major points I was trying to make in this article.