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It is easy quit when we experience failure.  We can get frustrated and depressed.  We may beat ourselves up saying “I’m not good enough”, or “I can’t do anything right.”  But this all or nothing mindset is extremely dangerous and definitely suboptimal.   

The truth is that everybody fails in life.  In fact the more successful a person is the more failure they have experienced.  We all need to learn how to overcome failure and keep moving in a positive direction.

People will often tell you to “Just get up!  Dust yourself off and start again.”  This is good advice but can be easier said than done. This is true especially when our feelings are hurt.  Negative emotions are real.  Pretending otherwise does not help you move forward.  Fortunately with the right plan it is possible to overcome these feelings and to come out ahead.  We can use our failure to our advantage.

1-  Be aware in advance that you will experience setbacks and give yourself permission to fail.  Realize that although it hurts you can get up and keep going.  Failure is not a stopping point it is a natural part of the path to success.  Real failure only happens when you quit. 

2.  Submerse yourself into personal development.  When you concentrate on self development media you can’t help but absorb some of these thinking patterns.  “You become what you associate with.” this includes reading, audio tapes, and video programming.  You will apply some of their ideas and principles by default.  Just making sure you subject yourself to a better mind set on a regular basis will have an osmotic effect.

3.  Move forward even if you have to crawl.  You may not be where you want to be but your still ahead of where you started.  The pain of failure is temporary and you can break through the other side a better person.  Let the pain of failure be your inspiration to succeed.  If life was easy it would also be boring and monotonous.   

4. Don’t take failure personally.  Failure is connected to what we do, or what we did not who we are.  We are not our mistakes.  We simply made a mistake. 

5.  Look at the big picture.  This too shall pass.  In fact it put us one experience closer to success. 

6.  Share your growth!  Help others!  I have heard that the best way to get what you want in life is to help others first get what they want.  I agree with this.  The Bible tells us to plant seed, to grow and be fruitful.  I believe that by helping others we are planting good seed.  We grow by being persistent and continuing in our efforts.  We are fruitful by our results.

7-  Think positively (but logically).  We should look at the positive aspects in life.  Be aware however that there is a distinct difference between being positive and being ignorant.  Don’t allow yourself to confuse positive with illogical. 

8-  Learn from the experience.  Realize you have achieved growth through failure you have gained experience and are better off than you would have been had you not tried.  Focus on the knowledge you’ve collected on your journey.  Your further along than when you started, and not likely to make the same mistake again.  The pain of failure actually helps us learn.  It doesn’t feel good but it is this pain that allows us to experience growth.  If it didn’t hurt when we fail we would never push ourselves to get better.  If it wasn’t for the pain of failure the joy of success wouldn’t matter. 

9-  Ask yourself questions.  What have I learned?  How can I use this to my advantage?  How can I avoid making this mistake again?  What can I do to be successful next time?

10-  Do something you know you will succeed at.  By achieving success (even small) you get the momentum ball rolling in your favor.  This provides motivation, energy and a positive workflow. 

For example:  If you are having trouble solving a difficult math problem you may decide to solve a few easier problems first.  Then when you feel better about your ability you can go back to the more difficult problem.  You may even realize you now know the answer. 
Success is not easy.  If it was it would lose its value.  Yet it is possible and very well worth the effort.